| mature |
[November 3rd, 2007 | 22.36] |
this is my only wave of communication with you, so here goes.
Grow up and stop having your friends call me all hours of the night to say nothing with substance or relevance. Seriously, take your drama somewhere else. Peace.
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[October 16th, 2007 | 14.27] |
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mood |
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 sick |
] |
Oh Livejournal, you never change.
Peace out.
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| <3life |
[May 25th, 2007 | 15.37] |
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mood |
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 content |
] |
I've become completely content.
The people in my life mean more to me than anything.
The rest will come around eventually but I am done being the ONLY one truly trying.
The people who want to stay will, ive quit trying and I've been happy ever sense, I guess thats just my bullshit.
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[April 30th, 2007 | 15.54] |
i'm ready to get out of this place.
there is NOTHING for me here.
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[April 20th, 2007 | 00.55] |
Seriously, this is fucking bullshit.
fuck you guys and fuck your friendship.
you want me, you call ME. peace.
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[March 13th, 2007 | 19.15] |
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mood |
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 discontent |
] |
The four days spent in VT were just what the doctor ordered. Jamie is probably my favorite person/family member ever simply because he is me in male form. I could have thought of ways to improve my days spent up there but over all it gets an A+.
Being up there made me realize that there is really not much that is keeping me here. It's sad to say but pretty much the only thing I missed while I was there was my bed and the fact that I dont have 5 dogs. Maybe I am finally ready to let go. There is no future for me in MASS. and my future is not as clear as I thought.
College means crap to me lately. I went to one class last week. I don't have a Pre Prac yet and am pretty much slacking. I dont think that teaching is what I want to do with my life anymore. Everytime I get the guts to talk about it with my dad he always starts out saying that college is the most important thing right now, and I chicken out and cant tell him.
I think I need a new start, new faces, new scenery, new everything. Maybe then I will finally be content knowing that I at least made the effort to change my unhappiness. Because thats exactly what it is, I am unhappy with me. I am nothing that I want to be and have completely lost my way. Maybe it's not to late to start over and find a new way, a way that will better my life and my happiness. Who knows, this could all just be pointless emotions and rambling. It just feels like everything is coming on at once and I am not really sure as to how I am supposed to handle it.
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[February 1st, 2007 | 11.29] |
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mood |
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crappy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Akon |
] |
As far as january is concerned, this new year has already let me down. Sure New Years Eve was decent, so that just proves that the theory the way you spend your new year is what the rest of your year will be like. I've been to a funeral already, I've been kicked out of my house, My parents basically sperated for a few days, I've had numerous breakdowns, I can't handle the wieght of the world anymore, I've been lied to by someone who I considered a "good" friend, I've been called numerous names however they only thing they dont realize is that they have no effect on me, my mother has been calling me them since I could comprehend what they were, all in all january was horrible, and judging by the events that have occur, Febuary will not be much better. 07 you suck. Peace
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| bye. |
[January 23rd, 2007 | 13.02] |
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mood |
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crappy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Cute is what we aim for. |
] |
There is only so much a person can handle before they break.
I broke last night.
Walked out of my house, and signed my death wish with my mother.
Now I sit here packing up my life and temporarily moving here and there.
For now, I will be residing with my brother in NH, Possibly taking this semester off and getting another job.
I mostlikely will not have my car...if my mom gets her way. So who knows when I will see you guys.
The cell always works.
855 2165.
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| worthless. |
[January 17th, 2007 | 19.57] |
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mood |
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 crushed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Mae |
] |
Just when you think you've figured something out and things are finally back to normal, things do just that, go back to normal. Everything starts to remind you of exactly why you left in the first place. Some people never change and it sucks because those are the ones you love the most.
Maybe one day I will find someone who will love me for who I am...
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| so ********************************** |
[December 21st, 2006 | 00.59] |
| [ |
mood |
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 blank |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Friends |
] |
It's too early. I find it sad that I consider 1 a.m. to early to go to bed. But with working the crazy hours I work, getting home at 1 is a priviledge for me. Yet, I can't find the ability to close my eyes and drift off to dream land. Tomorrow/today is my only day off. && I have errands to run that will basically take all day. Then a Dr. Seuss-athon with this boy I know. I hope to relax and reboot.
Classes have finished and I am less than satistfied with myself for the grades I will most likely recieve. What happened to me? I used to strive for good grades, now I could careless.
Steph is getting on my nerves. I mean she's not bad but she's so fucking loud and rather immature, and I am so sick of hearing about her ex-douchebag-boyfriend. She's wicked high school, and I feel myself slowly out growing that part of my life.
I'm excited that people are coming back for winter break this week, however, I am not going to say "let's hang out" because I know it's probaby a lost cause, If you want to see me make plans, I know I want to see you. We'll see how things pan out.
Random note: why is it that after 12 the phone sex commericals start and try to make phone sex appealing? I don't get phone sex...whats the point? Anyways...
El Jay is wicked lame.
Love, Megan.
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| You're gonna need a Bodybag. |
[November 16th, 2006 | 11.42] |
| [ |
mood |
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 happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Hit the Lights |
] |
Things have been pretty good. I'm not gonna lie, there are still hard times but it seems as if things are actually falling back into place and things are becoming clearer.
The past week has opened up my eyes to a lot. I enjoyed living with my wifey.
I realized that no one is perfect and the world is full of hypocrits, I am no longer letting my past choices haunt me becuase its over and done with, move on. I suggest you do the same.
I went and saw Hit the Lights, Cartel, Early November, and New found glory.
I plan on seeing Cartel again, and again and again. Next time will make three. I love them.
&&& I met Hit the Light's Bassit, Lead singer and Drummer. They are wicked cool and funny.
I want to see them again as well in febuary, any takers?
All in all, Life is looking up, and I am finally content :)
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| Do it. |
[August 17th, 2006 | 16.17] |
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mood |
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 thirsty |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Halifax |
] |
Leave me a comment, and I'll do the following:
1. I’ll respond with something random about you
2. I’ll challenge you to try something
3. I’ll pick a color that i associate with you
4. I’ll tell you something i like about you
5. I’ll tell you my first/clearest memory of you
6. I’ll tell you what animal you remind me of
7. I’ll ask you something i’ve always wanted to ask you
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on yours
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| Friends Only. |
[August 15th, 2006 | 15.40] |
| [ |
mood |
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 creative |
] |
| [ |
music |
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The Wallflowers |
] |
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] |
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hope_xo's journal
